Youth (early demos)

by Virgo

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This album is about being a teenager with depression and social anxiety. please open the lyrics!

Thanks for listening

Recorded in The Dungeon the summer during and after my junior year of high school, 2014

A live video:


released January 1, 2014

Lyrics/songwriting/producing: Ben Abid
Guitars: Ben Abid
Drums: Larenz Rivero, Miles Coleman, Zac Abid, Ben Abid
Vocals: Ben Abid, Andrea Hennes, Roslind King



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Virgo Grand Rapids, Michigan

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Track Name: Youth
Found words
Amongst desire
Of an intimate night
From a dusty corner
From a scared child
Unsure of what's next

And if you ever wonder why
I will tell you everything
I don't have much to say, no
When there isn't much to say
Track Name: Fawn
Dream of the sun
The story of our life is long
Resting on the rocks
Spotted to the top, a fawn
Wish, oh wish, carried by a song
A dream to the mountaintop

May we love our shared home
The shy faun at dusk
The songbird in love;
They don't worry too much

Moving with the pull
Of a crystal valley stream
Courageous salmon all the way to the sea
Over the rocks, around the sharp bear claw
Each day a challenge for you and me

And somewhere the wish is true
The harmony sought, the faun on the rocks
The dream at the mountaintop
Track Name: Summer
It's summer and there's a lot of things on my mind
Failed initiatives and friends who can't find time
Time, there's something I've got too much of
I need a kick to get out
I hate to waste my life
Hate to waste my life
Clean Freak
I wish I could be happy with less

Don't get me wrong
I'm happy with myself
But I could really use a friend now
Don't get me wrong
It'll all work out
But sometimes I have my doubts

It's summer and there's a conflict on my mind
Between the desire to be productive and the willingness to act on it

I want to run with you through the park
Under the stars in the sky though the trees
on a warm summer night
Expressions of joy and red cheeks and red eyes, and a slow motion world spins as we fall
Together as we fall
Track Name: Homesick
A sleeping house
A sister deserted
And heartfelt notes

A puzzle piece
I solve the mystery
As it sleeps

"I love this girl,
she really shows me the world...
and myself.

I thought the dream was over...
but now I know it's just begun."
Track Name: Sigh
I'm wasting my time
I'm wasting my life
I put my head down and waste my life
A lack of interest
What the hell am I waiting for
We used to be so close
I can't explain this
I'm trying to escape this
I run away from my problems
And you don't care anyway
We used to be so close
And I am nothing that you try to forget
How can you forget
Looking back you were always right
And it's no different this time
I got the shorter end of this
I'm glad you're happy
And I am nothing that you try to forget
How can you forget
All the times we held each other
Long nights together. Laughing to gether.
I told you everything. My troubles were safe with you
The world was a better place with you.
Your warm face pressed to mine. Red and smiling.
Track Name: Nothing
Hopeless battle in my head
Bipolar, I can't control it
Nothing is what you want
How you feel about everything

I want to be happy
Break down the walls of my troubled mind
And the ink drips from my rotten mouth
Rotten mouth

An empty heart
And an empty soul
Of lost hope
That I try so hard to be
The fucking silence
I'm not a shadow
To find acceptance
To find love
Track Name: Wasted
Cut you out of my life
Two years wasted
After all, I've tried

And it's hopeless
And all I've done is wrong
My wake of failure
I know where I went wrong
So go

Wanting to change
You left me hanging and cut the string

And it's hopeless
And all I've done is wrong
My wake of failure
I know where I went wrong
And it's hopeless
A new period of life
I open my empty arms to life
Track Name: 3 am
Caffeine to keep me awake
Oh why do I wait so long
Because it towers over me, a stack of guilt

Sugar rots my teeth
Fidgety fingers on a busy head
Chipping away at what's left
What's left

3 am
A sigh of relief
Blank stare from a jaded mind
And collapse in bed
For a dreamless night
Track Name: Regrets
Take me away
Punish my
Black hole mind
Selfish days
Push them away

Pin hole world
Remove myself
Never belong
Out of respect

Wanting to bleed into your heart
Like ink on my hand from a paper scar
And never again drown you in my shallow crux
Into your pure heart
I promise you're the best I'll ever get
Past your back is the whole world and my regrets
Track Name: Tomorrow
In your walk
In the way
A sixth sense, I can feel it
Off the walls
Spiraling around, emotions found
In the least expected place

Every once and a while
It is there
And growing and growing
And spreading with time

When I wish
For sometimes
I can be myself
For all the times
There are no words
Pictured words
For sometimes
When I wish
I will find myself
Track Name: This is How I Feel
Is this the way I am
It doesn't feel right
There's so much on my mind, so much on my mind
That it drives me crazy
That I can't sleep at night
Gotta let it out
And don't tell me I look so silent
I already hate myself enough

All my misery is forever
I must have caught it in my sleep
I want to leave this place forever
Made a fool of myself like always
And when I go
I won't be missed and I won't be loved
I can't express this no matter how hard I try

This isn't me
I'm leaving this shell behind
Finding someone who won't be surprised that it's gone
The world in color
And words like water
With bright eyes on an honest face
Don't tell me it's hopeless because I want it to be true

I'm not insane
Tell me I'm not insane
Tell me it's all going to change